(The babies of Cambodia)
*my video today is for all the babies in the world hurting* (I also really think Jamie Foxx is hot .. haha.. had to throw my humour in there today)
Everyday is a new day to decide how you're going to feel about where life has landed you. Everyday since Chemo I wake up and feel like a truck ran over me. I'd like to lay in that bed all day, drugged up on super pain med's and just zone out. (which I can't lie I've done a couple of days) But the reality is for the most part I'm to stubborn to do that. So eventually I force myself to get up, I force myself to make something to eat (or just a smoothie), I force myself to take all the good stuff (i.e. herbs etc) I know will inevitably help me get through this chemo poison and I keep going. Some days I have to fake it. Yup that's right you heard me right 'FAKE IT'..haha. There are times in life when we have to use the immense strength of our minds and subconscious to help our bodies heal and keep moving forward. This is of course not always that easy but I'm always aware that if I allow my mind to dip into the depths of depression and 'downsville' that it is hard to get out of that slump. We've all been there at different times in our lives and its different things that can drag us down. I've found as I've gone through difficult situations that sometimes its the daily stresses that are more taxing then huge life obstacles. That might sound funny but in some instances its true.
Think about how all the little life obstacles add up and then BAM one day you are just think to yourself, 'I can't take it anymore!'. I've heard that numerous times amongst friends, family and coworkers. I've seen people so stressed out from work, from family responsibilities and life that they really looked completely exhausted and drained. Somewhere in human history we stopped nurturing ourselves and our families. We've gotten so caught up in 'making a living' or 'pursuing our careers' or 'raising our families' ... that we've really, truly, stopped having fun and enjoying life. When I was travelling through SE Asia last year that became so very apparent to me especially in a country like Cambodia. Cambodia is a poor country with a lot of violent, sad history. Yet when you meet the people of Cambodia you are blown away by there smiles and resilience. They are a country that almost had there history wiped out by diverse wars. Perhaps the most well known though was that depicted in the movie 'The Killing Fields.' To put it simply the Khmer Rouge (political group) reached the capital Phnom Pen in 1975 and was led by there leader Pol Pot. As we travelled through Cambodia and had the privilege to speak to a few Cambodians - it was very evident that the name Pol Pat still struck fear and sadness in the people. The Khmer Rouge was basically responsible for the deaths of 1-3 Million Cambodians in the matter of 3 years. They killed anyone that even remotely oozed any 'Western' influences from there pores. Minority groups were targeted, professions such as lawyers, doctors, reporters, anything artistic was destroyed. Families were torn apart and children told to forget there parents, mothers pulled from there babies and put into labour camps and men slaughtered to keep them from trying to get there familes back. Something as simple as wearing eyeglasses was a target for death as the Khmer Rouge seen these as a sign of Intellectualism. It was a genocide that swept the country and brought a vibrant (french influenced) country to its feet. As you travel through the country you can see where great beauty once existed (and still does as they rebuild).
My point for bringing this history up is that travelling through Cambodia showed me how simple people can live and still smile. I brought back with me many life lessons from my 2 weeks there. No one is saying we shouldn't enjoy life and the nice things that Western culture has to offer but the point is that I think most of us allow these 'things' that are supposed to make us happy - rule us. They don't end up making us happy and we end up stressed out and sick.
As I go through this battle with cancer I continuously remind myself of the people in the world that do not have the things I have: The health care systems to help me get through this. The clean water I get to drink everyday to help cleanse my body. The herbal supplements I can buy that help rebuild my body. And simply the support and strength I have from those who surround me with love and good, positive vibes. Even when finances are lower or strength seems hard to find - I still have so much more then a large portion of the earths people. Everyday I'm blessed for this and remember it. Every day I continue to keep my strength up by thinking of the things I will do to pay it forward in the future.
For today I rest and tomorrow I will do some acupuncture to help with the pain from chemo. But never will I forget all the lost children who's pain is absolutely more then mine today.
One Love,
Brandi xx
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